July 2010
1 post
Mad Men filming at LAAC. Don Draper at gym chain smoking and downing tumblers of scotch while doing pull ups. Oh to the good ol’ days…
September 2009
37 posts
Day one of unemployment is filled with muppets and robber barons. The monocle-wearing, mustache-stroking puppet is humping the toaster.
This is Sinbad’s house and when you’re in Sinbad’s house you’re my bitch…or I’ll poke your eye out.
Damn, I could go for a Big Mac right now.
Thank god this is my last day of work; there’s a woman in the office who possesses a shrilly voice that makes you want to punch something.
Ahhh, giant Indonesian baby born; already destroying coastal cities, terrorizing Japanese businessmen. Help, Godzilla! http://bit.ly/HMlNl
While reviewing some old meeting notes, I found an observation I made: “Each person here has a taint where their faces should be.”
The bridge between the ad and the actual food is wide. Same for order brides, from what I’ve heard. http://bit.ly/28EC (psst, it’s German)
http://twitpic.com/iug8r - Arg!!! Bend to the will of the mustache! Magnum has spoken…
Learned I share a birthday with Bill Murray, Stephen King, Ethan Coen and Dave Coulier (!). I believe my day has officially been made.
Why is it when I meet someone who’s selfless, sugary nice and cheerful I automatically think they’re concealing a twisted/creepy dark side?
Your mom’s on facebook…
Not going to lie: nothing says Sunday like a Law & Order: SVU marathon.
Jennifer, I don’t know how to tell you this, but you’re in a time machine. According to BttF2, six years from now we’ll have hover boards!
My short time at Trade Tech has taught me community colleges are where ideas go to die.
At an outdoor wedding, it’s hot. It’s delayed. What!?? No wine?!? That’s it, I’m drawing a cock…
Dude, maybe you should get someone too examine those open sores on your legs. No, please, don’t pick at them…
I love overhearing stupid people discuss important issues. It’s like catching a monkey using a dictionary.
Oh my god The Wizard is on! “I love the Powerglove, it’s sooo bad.” Ah I bask in it’s 8-bit glory. Is that Christian fucking Slater?!?
Going to start suckling at the teat of unemployment soon. At least they’re waiting until after my b-day to let me go.
Hansel: I guess you can dere-lick my balls cap-E-tan.
Zoolander: I can Dere-lick my own balls, thank you very much. http://bit.ly/2D5aFi
There’s something oddly satisfying about catching someone pick their nose when they think no one is watching them.
Once a generation theres a film that defines all others that follow. Turbulence is that film perhaps Liotta’s best work since Goodfellas.
Hey Buckeyes, now you know the power of Big-Balls Pete.
Ahhhhhhh!!!!! USC came back with the 2-point conversion!!! Hold them hold them hold them!!!
I was told kittens think of nothing but murder all day. I Previously thought God killed a kitten every time someone touched themselves.
http://twitpic.com/h7hma - @eisenbear - It looks like one of my ex-girlfriends who was always speaking for me. Ahhhh, play on words. Her …
Robot Dinosaurs have attacked the U.N. in search of battery fuel.
What we need in these tough times, a Judge Dredd reboot, when we need a reminder that executing people is awesome. http://bit.ly/2poeUv
While the prospects of restarting work after a long weekend is never joyous, when the office smells like cabbage, things seem much worse.
Just witnessed the couger in her natural habitat.
If I had a superpower, it would be to create magical tacos on command.
Yes indeed the day always goes better with the A-Team theme song in your head.
Sometimes it’s yogurt…
Riding the Blue Line is like slipping into a soiled tube sock filled with rancid mayonnaise. It’s just that much fun.
Watching The Last Starfighter. Horrible CGI? Hell yeah! ‘84 rules! This movie won, like, every Oscar for being so totally, awe-fuck sweet.
Saw a man training an army of pigeons to obtain world domination by fouling the planet’s statues and windshields. Shit on, man, shit on.
http://twitpic.com/g3jyy - Something about this ad doesn’t exactly sit right. It’s like asking a cripple to stand up for their rights. P …
August 2009
41 posts
Claw company? What the frak am I talking about? Marvel is selling out to Disney. Boooo! http://bit.ly/SaCYB
Step 1 on how to make a geek’s head explode: Sell off your claw company to a soul-sucking mouse-eared corporation. http://bit.ly/SaCYB
That’s it, to beat this heat I’m starting a Phil Collins cover band: Genesis of Phil.
They say ostrich is leaner but you eat more of it.
The Men Who Stare at Goats: TRUE, it’s science! US-trained psychic assassins running around doing Jedi mind things! http://bit.ly/WeZEX
“You probably heard we ain’t in the prisoner-takin’ business; we in the killin’ Naht-zi business. And cousin, Business is a-boomin’.”
Acronymics Inc. lost from their killer kid robot division VICI (Voice Input Child Identicant) & DARYL (Data-Analysing Robot Youth Lifeform).
Bigfoot wants to crash at my apartment again. That’s just great, his hair gets all over the place and he stuffs dead things into my fridge.
Ed Kennedy has finally joined his brothers. RIP senator you can tag team Marilyn now. Remember lots of high fives. Frank brought the booze.
You can’t imagine how much shit you have to do when you have a pet fly. Ha, pun….
The Birthers want to see Obama’s penis to see if he’s uncircumcised thus proving he’s foreign. Then things got weird. http://bit.ly/SyEMo
You know what’s awesome, when you wake up and you find LA covered in a thick layer of smoke. Air quality is overrated.