December 2008
70 posts
Dying to know the punchline right now.
Down Under tp watch to water rotate the other way for the next handful of days. Enjoy the holidays.
I just dropped my phone and I realize mother nature is trying to cum on me.
Remember that hoverboards don’t work on water-unless you’ve got power. By which I mean the Pitbull. Buttheads.
I didn’t invent the time machine for financial gains.
That’s right, I’m attending the Enchantment Under the Sea dance. I don’t care how much it’s going to fuck up my parents.
Fuck you, Mr. Strickland, don’t call me a slacker.
You can go fist yourself, Crispin Glover, for fucking with my trilogy, asshole.
Great Scott, I’m back from the future and it’s Howdy Doody Time, but I’m off to the down under so watch out, I’m going to be croc awesome.
95.5 is playing a block of Rush and I’m aroused. It’s a good Sunday.
To prep for my Australia trip, I’m chilling at Outback Steakhouse-it’s like Applebee’s with more dingos eating babies. That’s not a knife…
Lesson of the day: sodomize intolerance.
Ahhhh, no worries.
Darth Vader just needed a hug.
Dropping ‘bows.
Depending on how I feel, I may or may not do any work today.
Sometimes I feel that the things I do today I’ll have to admit to my kids some day…sweeeeeeet!
Drinking makes me happy.
Talk about jumping the shark: so Cold was in Hawaii in a water skiing contest and ramped over a shark, then fixed a jukebox & said, “Aaay.”
Damn, it’s cold.
I can barely contain myself so I’ll come right out and say it: Flight of the Concords, season two, January 18….damn, I need a smoke now.
FotC premiere: http://tinyurl.com/57djjx
Damn my windshield wipers don’t work. Falling back on my Spidey Sense to get me through traffic. Uh oh, something’s tingling…
Uh, Aqualung, my friend?
Sitting in the bathroom, watching The Dark Knight on my iPhone…it’s what the cool kids do.
Recommendation No. 14,023: Everyone, read the ‘Sex Lives of Famous People,’ it’s a great book to poop to.
Whoa, two poop references in a matter of hours, that’s a new personal record. I’m going to celebrate with a shot of Tequila, at my desk.
Shit, yet another person I went to high school with is having a baby. Fuck, if they just taught the pull-out method…
Felt pretty good, decided to strut.
You know what’s great about massive head injuries? Everybody seems to be dancing and singing right now…it’s a show tunes day, yay!!!
Recommendation No. 341 - Outpost: the Punisher & his merry band of mercs fight off zombie/ghost Nazis…it’s, like, super awesome!
My application to the Lollipop Guild was rejected on account that I have a history in the Carrot Society.
Trying to drill a hole in my head…
I’m always amazed that people in this city will wear a scarf in 60 degree weather, but are totally unprepared for real weather. Idiots.
Holy crap, a card with my name on it.
Wait, does MySpace actually still exist?
Hey, there’s a beverage here.
I’m getting stylized
Fuck, why is this stuck in my head - “I’ll give you bonafied lovin’, oh oh oh oh…”
My head feels heavy.
Shoit, it’s morning.
Uh oh, I think I just squished a leprechaun. Hope he wasn’t a relative, or something…
I like to set aside things for a rainy - it’s a shame it hardly rains here in LA.
Sometimes I sit at my desk and imagine what it would be like to own and operate a cat cannon. I believe I would use it for good…
I make redactive arguements so go fuck yourself, I’m right.
Baconnaise combines the delight of mayo with the awesomeness of bacon into a taste explosion: why am I just now learning about this product?
Just killed two birds with one stone. It wasn’t that hard. I used a huge rock to squish those damn pigeons. Poop on this, bitches.
Fuck it, we’ll do it live.
The descent into madness is starting, so I’m going to ebb the flow into this form craziness by pretending that everyone is a Ninja Turtle…
My dislike for the LAPD is reaffirmed. Fuck you, fuzz.